Related:

• Before you speak, just remember that you will not be asked to explain what you did not say!
• That was a favor I did you?
• Does a man speak foolishly?-suffer him gladly, for you are wise.
  Does he speak erroneously?-stop such a man's mouth with sound words that cannot be gainsaid....
• Don't speak ill of your predecessors (or successors) - you did not walk in their shoes.
  -- Donald Rumsfeld...
• Have I found GOD? Why, did you lose Her AGAIN?
• There was this New Yorker that had a lifelong ambition to be an Texan.
  Fortunately, he had an Texan friend and went to him for advice....
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Picked his nose apart so he could see how it ran.
• A man walked into a haberdashery and said to the owner, "Did you just see me come in?
  The owner replied, "Yes, sir, I did." "Ahhhh!" the man said....
• Peter: ... what did you take? A: I was in history.
  Peter: Why did you stop? A: I found history to be a waste of time....