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• Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
• Abe: Good night, Mrs. Bouvier...wherever you are. Lawye
  [approaching] Mr. Simpson, I represent the estate of Jimmy Durante....
• Good night, Austin, Texas, wherever you are!
• SMILEY :###) Jimmy Durante
• Why doesn't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone? -- Jimmy Durante
• The Titanic was insured for only over three million dollars.
  Betty Grable's legs were insured for a cool quarter of a million, while Jimmy Durante's nose for $...
• A woman went to the butcher's to buy some meat. So she bought some steak, a few pounds of hamburger, a few pounds of ribs, and a big roast, and then she says to the butcher, "Deliver it!
  The butcher says, "I can't deliver it, lady." She says, "What's the matter with you?...
• Say it with flowers, Or say it with mink, But whatever you do, Don't say it with ink!
  -- Jimmie Durante...