Related:

• Conservative, n: a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 1911...
• REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EULOGY, n. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Inventor, n. A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers, and springs, and believes it civilization.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...