Related:

• I heard that in relativity theory space and time are the same thing.
  Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings....
• What are imitation rhinestones? -- Steven Wrigh
• 10. Whenever you speak, you say "say" in front of all your sentences.
  9. You attempt to "goto /room/dorm/Shaw/east/156" to get home....
• It [training] doesn't get easier; you just get faster.
  -- Greg Lemond, Three time winner of Tour d' France...
• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
• You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step?
  I'm like that all the time. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance. -- Steven Wrigh
• Bubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November, and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the boat into the lake.
  Jim Bob and Leroy pulled him back in, but as Bubba didn't look too good, they started up the Evinrude and headed back to the pier....
• Everything is within walking distance, if you have enough time. -- Steven Wrigh