Related:

• Hansen's Library Axiom: The closest library doesn't have the material you need.
• The closest library doesn't have the material you need. -- Hansen's Library Axiom
• The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed.
  The new number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it....
• The end of the world is nigh! Repent, and return those library books immediately!
• Answering machine message: (In an operator-like voice) We're sorry, the number you have dialed, 123-4567, has been changed.
  The new number is 123-4567. Please hang up and try your call again....
• ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ======================== CAR and CDR now return extra values.
  The function CAR now returns two values. Since it has to go to the trouble to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as well get both halves at once....
• The number you have reached -911- has been disconnected.
• Bart: I thought dabbling in the Black Arts would be good for a chuckle, how wrong I was.
  I should have never read that book. Lisa: Bart, maybe the library has another book that will reverse the spell?...
• Anyone who has got a book collection/library and a garden wants for nothing. -- Cicero