Related:

• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the earthquake.
  Tragic, isn't it? But, leave a message anyway, someone is sure to get it eventually....
• We're not in cause we're out LOOTING! Leave a message and we'll call you back and tell you what we got.
  -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....
• Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet.
  If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out-of-the-body experience.
  In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say....
• Stoned, slow voice:) Hey brother, you have reached the Narcotics Information Hotline.
  None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists....