Related:

• All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!
  and axing their legs off at the knee. -- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!...
• A good amulet may protect you against guards.
• Royal guards do it in uniforms.
• How many Chinese Red Guards -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution....
• How many Honor Guards -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb....
• Quis custodiet ipsos Custodes? [Who guards the Guardians?]
• Stalagmites: Miniature German prison guards. -- Spike Milliga
• Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed.
  Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the good guys lost....