Related:

• Boy and girl in the bath. Girl: What is that long thing ?
  Boy : It`s mine. Girl: Can I play with it ? Boy : No! You`ve broken yours already....
• Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
  (takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
• If you are beginning to doubt what I am saying, you are probably hallucinating.
  -- The Firesign Theatre, _Everything you know is Wrong_...
• A trusted friend will outlive you.
• The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it. -- James Bryce
• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
• A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence.
  For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded....