Related:

• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• Behold him setting in his western skies, The shadows lengthening as the vapours rise.
  -- John Dryden (1631-1700) -- Absalom and Achitophel, Part i, Line 268...
• Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers] Aah!
  Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute...
• My mother made me a homosexual! If I send her the yarn, can she make me one too?
• What they said: What they meant: "If you knew this person as well as I know him, you would think as much of him as I do.
  (Or as little, to phrase it slightly more accurately....
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
  Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone....
• The conversion of one species into another takes place by a leap. -- Trofim Lysenko (1898-1976)