Related:

• Forget about the problem of ingrowing toenails. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Make a small scene outside a seafood restaurant. Accuse them of sauteeing your best friend.
  Glare at everyone who comes out. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Ask your cosmetics company if they have any make-up that is waterproof and not tested on laboratory fish.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy a goldfish bowl and fill it up. Stick your head in it for practice.
  The goldfish are optional. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....