Related:

• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sabotage Sea World shows, chanting slogans about "Tail Rights".
  Explain the concept of striking to the dolphins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Join the Anti-Football League. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Accuse fun-run organisers of discrimination. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.