Related:

• For your birthday, somebody gives you a calfskin wallet..
• Love your country but never trust its government.
  -- from a hand-painted road sign in central Pennsylvania...
• BEAUTY: What's in your eye when you have a bee in your hand.
• You may be redneck... if both your dog and your wallet are on a chain.
• Homer: Okay, okay, but I want you to see a picture of the little girl you're disappointing.
  [looks through his wallet] Well, I don't have one....
• Other things you could have removed while you waited were your wallet, your stomach lining, your mind and your will to live.
  The muggers and pushers and pimps and hamburger salesmen, in no particular order, could arrange these things for you....
• All fantasy should have a solid base in reality. -- Sir Max Beerbohm
• Who needs fantasy when you can have physics?
• Marge: [in bed, reading the shopping list] I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me Homer.
  Homer: Huh? Oh, I love you Marge. Marge: Mm, Homer, you tell me that all the time....