Related:

• GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BIGAMY, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Wit, n.: The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery .
  .. by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned.
  The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation....