Related:

• People who constantly check the coin return in the pay phone, when they have no change coming, should be whipped.
• I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
  -- Samuel Goldwy...
• I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead. -- Samuel Goldwy
• How many VMM members -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Note: VMM=Vegetarian Matchmakers, a singles group where nobody ever puts their foot down and demands that anyone should do anything....
• How many VMM members -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Note: VMM=Vegetarian Matchmakers, a singles group where nobody ever puts their foot down and demands that anyone should do anything....
• Abe: Hey, the lamp's running away! Bart: That's my dog, man!
  Abe: So long, lamp. Now stop loafing and help your Grampa unpack....
• Only two kinds of witnesses exist. The first live in a neighborhood where a crime has been committed and in no circumstances have ever seen anything or even heard a shot.
  The second category are the neighbors of anyone who happens to be accused of the crime....
• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twai