Related:

• I've got a drinking problem - two hands and only one mouth...
• Homer: Marge honey, I've got five words to say to you!
  [one word per finger] Greasy Joe's Bottomless Barbecue....
• There is only one beautiful child in the world, and every mother has it. -- Stephen Leacock
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: Excuse me, we're having a problem with our dog.
  Clerk: Lady, I'll tell you what I'm telling everyone else...
• The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism
  call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it....
• The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism
  call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it....
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
  -- Cutler Webster's Law...