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• In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.
  S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time....
• I think it's pretty sad that someone can take $300 million and try to buy the presidency of the United States.
  -- Marilyn Quayle, on Ross Perot, who, as of the time she said this (May 29), had spent less than $...
• After one week [visiting Austria] I couldn't wait to go back to the United States.
  Everything was much more pleasant in the United States, because of the mentality of being open-minded, always positive....
• No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime
  unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public dange...
• Publicity is like poison: it doesn't hurt unless you swallow it. -- Joe Paterno
• Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
  -- real standing law in North Dakota, United States of America...
• In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.
  -- Jeffery F. Chamberlai...
• You can call me Will or Willie but not Bill.