Related:

• It's 03:40 P.M. Do you know where your child is?
• It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your child processes are?
• You may be redneck... if you legally name your child "Bubba".
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• What do you do if you find an epileptic in your bathtub? Throw in some soap and a load of laundry.
• So easy to use a child can do it. Child sold separately.
• My inner child can beat up your inner child.
• URCHIN Descriptive of a mischievous child, especially a boy, who has not destroyed any of your property.
  An urchin who *has* destroyed some of your property is more properly known as a "little bastard that I'm gonna lynch if I get my hands on him....
• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
  -- Erma Brombeck...