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• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
• Never put off until tomorrow that which you can do today. -- Benjamin Frankli
• Moe: {When I say, "Put your beer on a coaster," I mean it!
  } Hans: {You call that a knife? This is a knife! [pulls a huge blade from his cane] [It's too heavy for him to hold up] [weakly] Ooh, down I go....
• Q: "Well, if the Calamarians hurry up and finish me off, we can get you back on your way.
  Q2: "Mmm, afraid I put them on hold too. You see, there's still this matter of the....
• Call me back so I can hang up on you!
• A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.
  Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone....
• ARCHITECTURAL HISTORIANS can tell you who put it up, how big it wa
• Hello Modem Addicts..... Do you have a BBS I can call!
• Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.