Related:

• The way my jeweler explained it, it's like insurance.
  Six months' pay isn't much to keep my wife from sleeping around....
• I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
  -- Lewis Grizzard...
• I took biology two years in a row just to eat the specimens. -- Pat Paulse
• Karl: Hey, way to save our lives! Len: Yeah, we owe you one!
  Homer: Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman....
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. -- Jack Rosenbaum
• It was a painful divorce--I lost the games!
• Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
  -- Oliver Herford...
• When you save for a long time to buy something, then you find that you can't afford it - that's inflation.