Related:

• PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment.
  One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NOMINEE, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that -- "Stone walls do not a prison make
  but a combination of the stone wall, the political parasite and the moral instructor is no garden of sweets....
• Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
  The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MALEFACTOR, n. The chief factor in the progress of the human race.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...