Related:

• Have you changed your tofu water today?
• The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough time
  and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility....
• I guess you'll have to ask the details to the management, I am here.
  The Governor and I are announcing this today. It was just signed off on by the Secretary of Defense as something that we have been monitoring, and the Governor obviously has been very involved in this....
• The morale of troops on the home front is just as important as the morale of troops likely to be blown up at any moment.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle (you knew he would have one) speaking about his morale boosting trip to a National Guard Armory in Grand Rapids following his moral boosting visit with U....
• Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays?
  Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway...
• I just have one thing to say: Murphy, you owe me!
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle -- after Candice Bergan won an Emmy for her role as Murphy Brow...
• Ross: Alright, I want my monkey. Luisa [from Animal Control]
  No! Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Luisa! Luisa: Sorry, prom queen....
• The more keys you have, the more likely you are to be locked out. -- Joe's Law of Key
• We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.