Related:

• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Learn to be wary of Japanese and Norwegians carrying spears.
  Anything that's warm-blooded and swims is fair game to them....
• Learn that sharks aren't just there to be eaten. Some of them are getting the hang of this newfangled role-reversal stuff.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Forget about the problem of ingrowing toenails. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Talk to fish. Sooner or later, they will talk back.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Accuse fun-run organisers of discrimination. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.