Related:

• ABC Acronym for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
  Generally described as a bit like the better-known BBC, but with half the channels and twice the incompetence....
• BED A horizontally positioned, generally soft, piece of furniture where people go to sleep.
  Apart from this, a bed can be used for... reading in....
• CUSTARD Custard is a warm, gooey yellowish substance commonly swallowed orally.
  The great Custic Civilisations of the upper Amazon are commonly credited with the invention and implementation of the first truly gooey custards....
• ATLAS A really big dude who used to carry the world upon his shoulders (or something like that).
  Today's modern Prime Ministers and Presidents may think that they carry the world upon *their* shoulders, but if that were true then they'd be crushed into tiny specks just by the sheer weight of the damn thing....
• The Catholic Church *is not* the one true church. The Holy Orthodox >[Eastern] Christian Church is the one and only repository of the *fullness* >of Christ's > teachings.
  Sorry, but the one _true_ church is the Church of the Forgotten Son, where we worship the Almighty earthworm....
• BIBLE A bible is a book which one or more religions consider to be holy, and to be something that they should follow.
  It is of course generally rather impractical to follow books, not just because they don't often go anywhere, but also because they are not very good at public speaking, decision making, problem solving, or any of the other qualities recognised as being an advantage for leadership....
• NOTICEBOARD A large board placed somewhere in the office, where administrative- type people place important notices that no-one ever reads.
  Also the location of very bad cartoons on the subject of office life, pinned up by the office wag....
• ABATTOIR A location where carnivores like myself can go to see the full reality of the slaughter of defenceless little sheepie
  piggies and other animals unfortunate enough to be farmed for their delicious rumps (and other bits)....