Related:

• What do you give a dead baby for xmas? A dead puppy.
• Amy: Bender, you should be more ashamed of yourself than usual.
• Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot? Professor: No. Why would I know that?
• This week somebody sent a puppy to the President. The puppy was a Democrat.
  You could tell--he had his eyes open! -- Senator Claghorn (Kenny Delmar)...
• If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.
• The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough time
  and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility....
• If your father told you he could determine the sex of a puppy by looking at the bottoms of its feet, he was lying.
• Young lovers, shop around before you buy. Puppy love is often the prelude to a dog's life.
• The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother--and they'll settle for a puppy every time.
  -- Winston Pendelto...