Related:

• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house.
  And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to. -- Yakov Smirnoff...
• To tell....alas, I may not be original, but I found something to post.
• I have heard a well-built woman compared in her motion to a ship under sail, yet I would advise no wise man to be her owner if her freight be nothing but what she carries between wind and water.
  -- Francis Osborne (advising his son not to marry a beautiful but poor girl) Never eat a heavily sugared doughnut before you go on TV....
• One man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.
  -- Old Testament -- Ecclesiastes vii, 28...
• Once at a dinner party when he was a young man, Winston Churchill, who at the time had a moustache, was seated next to an older woman.
  She said to him, "Young man, I care neither for your politics nor for your moustache....
• Jimmy Stewart played the father on a southern plantation when a young man came to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage.
  The father asked, "Well, do you like her?" The young man responded " - I love her!...
• QOTD: "I'd never marry a woman who didn't like pizza.
  I might play golf with her, but I wouldn't marry her....
• A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase, quadruples her sex drive.
  "Or more." Or more? You never told me that. "I didn't want to frighten you....