Related:

• A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working.
  I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied....
• When I walked into the supermarket the manager got a grocery cart for me.
  I said, "Why do you always give me a cart with a squeaky wheel?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing!
  He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!...
• A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?
  ' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator....
• Preacher to me: "A dollar for the Lord, brother?" Me to preache
  That's all right, I'm headed his way. I'll give it to him when I see him." -- Edward Abbey...