Related:

• Bush wears a hat so he knows which end to wipe!
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Put his hat on his head in the john, so he would know what end to wipe.
• He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat. -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Much Ado about Nothing -- Act i, Sc.
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• Then there is this character who is very religious, so much so, in fact, that he wears stained glass bifocals.
• He's so nervous that he wears a seat belt in a drive-in movie. -- Neil Simo
• It depends on which end he tries to light...
• And he had a job, and he wore a hat, and he brought home the bacon so that noone knew.
• You bring someone home, say 'Hi, Mom, this is so-and-so,' she immediately knows everything except which side of the bed he sleeps on.
  -- Professor Ralph Noble, RPI, Psychology of Motivation, Fall 1991...
• Percy, costumed in festive garb, has just left.) What a clot.
  The most absurdly dressed creature in Christendom....