Related:

• Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. -- "Bumper Snicke
• Kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray.
  -- Sideshow Bob to his new love Selma, "The Return of Sideshow Bob...
• In a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is placed in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker.
• Slave boy, down on your knees, kissing and licking ____at_the_heel_of_your_mistress!
  __1-800-EAT-SPAM____...
• Sideshow Bob: Selma, would you mind if I did something bold and shocking in front of your family?
  Selma: All right. But no tongues. [removes her cigarette and puckers up] Sideshow Bob...
• It was like french kissing an electrical outlet...
• Kissing a fish is like smoking a bicycle.
• There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.