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• Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
  -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!! Oh wait... I'm a computer, and you're a person.
  It would never work out. Never mind....
• Burns: You mean you're willing to give up a good job and a raise, just for your principles?
  Homer: Hmmmm, you put it that way it does sound a little far-fetched, but that's the lug your looking at....
• The point is, you see, that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad.
  You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later....
• The point is...that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad.
  You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later....
• If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage.
  They're just not ready. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I have some sad news to report: a small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
  [Audience gasps] And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!...
• I went mad once. Did me a world of good.
• Are you still mad I gave a mohawk to your cat?