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• In a good Australian accent:) G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile.
  Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you. -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because....
• Staying single is largely a matter of spacing. You have to make sure your dates don't want a mate, they just wanta mate.
• I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember.
  I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself....
• Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
• Fry: "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them.
  Yes?" Zoidberg: "Is the desire to mate a feeling?...
• Whenever you are angry, be assured that it is not only a present evil, but that you have increased a habit.
  -- Epictetu...
• Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.
  Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer....
• You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
  A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with alot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it....
• Need help to shorten phone number! Call 1-800-345-7895-22345568-32357-53688