Related:

• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you....
• Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatte
  o if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Prese
  ) Good evening. I'm sorry, but Steve can't come to the phone now, as he's quite tied up....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number.
  .. -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually
  I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it....
• We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the earthquake.
  Tragic, isn't it? But, leave a message anyway, someone is sure to get it eventually....