Related:

• Clerk: Now before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few questions.
  Homer: Questions! Questions! My whole scheme down the -- [realizes] I mean ask away....
• There's a revised version of "The customer is always right" which I find much more appealing, which i
  "The customer may not always be right, but the customer is always the customer....
• Smithers: Sir, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino.
  Brit: Gentlemen, I give you Brittania! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles....
• .......but your salesman said........... -- Anonymous Custome
• Well I looked at my watch and it said a quarter to five, The headline screamed that I was still alive, I couldn't understand it, I thought I died last night.
  I dreamed I'd been in a border town, In a little cantina that the boys had found, I was desperate to dance, just to dig the local sounds....
• CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
  DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop] CUSTOMER...
• Lisa: Hey, Bart. How's your arm? Bart: It's all right.
  I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Garage mechanic to customer: There's nothing mechanically wrong with your car, sir- it's just an underachiever.
  -- David Brow...