Clerk: Now before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few
questions.
Homer: Questions! Questions! My whole scheme down the -- [realizes] I
mean ask away.
Clerk: Now, under "heart attacks", you crossed out three and wrote zero.
Homer: Oh, I thought that said "brain hemorrhages".
Clerk: All right. Here's your policy.
Homer: Now let me tell _you_ something, Mr. Sucker. I just--
Clerk: Wait, you haven't signed it yet.
Homer: [takes pen] Oh, yeah, I-- [gags] ...must...sign...policy!
Clerk: [pulling policy] I'm sorry, sir, we can't insure you!
Homer: I made an H!
Clerk: That doesn't count!
Homer: Looks like an X.
[the clerk manages to pull it away]
Clerk: We better get you to a hospital.
Homer: Can I have a free calendar?
Clerk: OK.
-- Homer's attempt to get health insurance,
"Homer's Triple Bypass"
questions.
Homer: Questions! Questions! My whole scheme down the -- [realizes] I
mean ask away.
Clerk: Now, under "heart attacks", you crossed out three and wrote zero.
Homer: Oh, I thought that said "brain hemorrhages".
Clerk: All right. Here's your policy.
Homer: Now let me tell _you_ something, Mr. Sucker. I just--
Clerk: Wait, you haven't signed it yet.
Homer: [takes pen] Oh, yeah, I-- [gags] ...must...sign...policy!
Clerk: [pulling policy] I'm sorry, sir, we can't insure you!
Homer: I made an H!
Clerk: That doesn't count!
Homer: Looks like an X.
[the clerk manages to pull it away]
Clerk: We better get you to a hospital.
Homer: Can I have a free calendar?
Clerk: OK.
-- Homer's attempt to get health insurance,
"Homer's Triple Bypass"
Related:
- Homer: Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute.
Clerk: That's right.
$120 gross, less Social Security... Homer: Yeah. Clerk... - Homer: Eh, what do you mean by `suggested donation'?
Clerk: Pay any amount you wish, sir. Homer: And uh, what if I wish to pay .... - Clerk: Dude, karma.
Homer: What?
Clerk: [pointing at the hat] Karma, &l
karma>. [pause] Homer: [neuter] Oh, I get it. [walks away] -- But I don't, "Homerpalooza... - Apu (Kwik-E-Mart clerk): "Haven't I seen you on TV somewhere before?
Homer: "Nah, you have me confused with Fred Flintstone.... - Homer: Give me some quarters... I'm doing my laundry.
Clerk: Yeah, right. [gives him the quarters] Home... - Homer: [spots a nice ring] Wow. I'll take <that> ring.
Clerk: Yes, sir, and how will you be paying for it?... - Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this.
...How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter?... - Homer: [watches a scene from McBain on the video store monitors]
Clerk
You want to rent it, sir? Homer: Why? I just saw the best part!... - Homer: Now, here are some of your no-name bands. Sonic Youth?
Nine Inch Nails? Hullabalooza? Clerk: Hullabalooza is a music festival...
