Clerk: Now Before We Give You Health Insurance, I Have To Ask You A Few Questions.

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Clerk: Now before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few
Homer: Questions! Questions! My whole scheme down the -- [realizes] I
mean ask away.
Clerk: Now, under "heart attacks", you crossed out three and wrote zero.
Homer: Oh, I thought that said "brain hemorrhages".
Clerk: All right. Here's your policy.
Homer: Now let me tell _you_ something, Mr. Sucker. I just--
Clerk: Wait, you haven't signed it yet.
Homer: [takes pen] Oh, yeah, I-- [gags] ...must...sign...policy!
Clerk: [pulling policy] I'm sorry, sir, we can't insure you!
Homer: I made an H!
Clerk: That doesn't count!
Homer: Looks like an X.
[the clerk manages to pull it away]
Clerk: We better get you to a hospital.
Homer: Can I have a free calendar?
Clerk: OK.
-- Homer's attempt to get health insurance,
"Homer's Triple Bypass"