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• I was in the store the other day and a salesperson came up to me and said, "Can I help you?
  I said, "Yea, give me what I need." She said, "I don't know what you need" I said, "You started it....
• I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
  o i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?...
• My papa said son, don't let the man get you and do what he done to me. -- John Fogerty
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• I went into the grocery store today. I said, "Give me a dollar's worth of potatoes.
  He said, "We don't slice 'em." I said, "Give me fifty cents' worth of Swiss cheese....
• A horrible little boy came up to me and said, `You know in your book The Martian Chronicles?
  ' I said, `Yes?' He said, `You know where you talk about Deimos rising in the East?...
• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....
• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....
• I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?
  I said, "Thursday." He said, "I'm busy Thursday....