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• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....
• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....
• Lenny: You want another card or not? Homer: Huh? Oh, OK.
  I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!...
• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....
• ADVICE, n. The smallest current coin. "The man was in such deep distress," Said Tom, "that I could do no less Than give him good advice.
  Said Jim: "If less could have been done for him I know you well enough, my son, To know that's what you would have done....
• I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5." He said,"What you need is to grow up, son.
  I said,"Growin' up leads to growin' old, And then to dying, and to me that don't sound like much fun....
• Marriage is not a man's idea. A woman must've thought of it.
  Years ago some guy said, "Let me get this straight, honey....
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?
  He answered, If the zoo wants you let them come and get you. -- Jerry Lewi...