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• He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered. -- Ring Lardne
• Shut up he explained. -- Ring Lardne
• Fresh as a bridegroom; and his chin new reap'd Showed like a stubble-land at harvest-home
  He was perfumed like a milliner, And 'twixt his finger and his thumb he held A pouncet-box, which ever and anon He gave his nose and took 't away again....
• Spock: "I know of your mind meld with my father, which enabled him to complete his last mission.
  Picard: "It was an honor. He's a great man." Spock...
• Life is a library owned by an author. It has a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.
• The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.
  The rabbi listened solemnly to his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God....
• Smetana mistakenly showed up at a theater across the street from the one in which his opera was playing.
  He didn't know which side his bride was bartered on. -- Henry Morga...
• Knowing I lov'd my books, he furnish'd me From mine own library with volumes that I prize above my dukedom.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Tempest -- Act i, Sc. 2...
• A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working.
  I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied....