Related:

• GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
• HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
  -- Ambrose Bierce...
• Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...