Related:

• MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem -- a kind of contest in which
  he vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success....
• HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue- outang.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary