FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #6
What to do...
if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?
First of all, do not run after your camera. You will not have any
film, and, given the state of computer animation, noone will believe
you anyway. Be polite. Remember, if they have an FTL hyperdrive,
they can probably vaporize you, should they find you to be rude.
Direct them to the White House lawn, which is where they probably
wanted to land, anyway. A good road map should help.
if you wake up in the middle of the night, and discover that your
closet contains an alternate dimension?
Don't walk in. You almost certainly will not be able to get back,
and alternate dimensions are almost never any fun. Remain calm
and go back to bed. Close the door first, so that the cat does not
wander off. Check your closet in the morning. If it still contains
an alternate dimension, nail it shut.
What to do...
if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?
First of all, do not run after your camera. You will not have any
film, and, given the state of computer animation, noone will believe
you anyway. Be polite. Remember, if they have an FTL hyperdrive,
they can probably vaporize you, should they find you to be rude.
Direct them to the White House lawn, which is where they probably
wanted to land, anyway. A good road map should help.
if you wake up in the middle of the night, and discover that your
closet contains an alternate dimension?
Don't walk in. You almost certainly will not be able to get back,
and alternate dimensions are almost never any fun. Remain calm
and go back to bed. Close the door first, so that the cat does not
wander off. Check your closet in the morning. If it still contains
an alternate dimension, nail it shut.
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Barber's Laws of Backpacking
1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken
around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes
out positive.
2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.... - FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION
#14 What to do... if reality disappears? Hope this one doesn't happen to you.... - You know you've been hacking too long when
The
set-up line for a genre of one-liners told by hackers about
themselves.
These include the following: not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.... - Dear Ms. Postnews:
I couldn't get mail through to somebody on another site.
What should I do? -- Eager Beaver Dear Eage... - You know you're in trouble when...
(1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your
skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
(2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces.... - Troy: Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes, "What
is the real deal with Mr.
Burns' assistant Smithers? You know what I'm talking about.... - Half-done:
This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still
crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.
The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the difference between life and death.... - Half-done:
This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still
crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.
The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the difference between life and death....
