Related:

• Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all have Porsche
  I must make amends. -- Janis Jopli...
• On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes.
  Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Oh backup Boy! Bring your tape drive over here and back up my flashy new disk drive now, won't you?
  I have a luncheon to attend to! - please send weapo...
• Mixed Emotions: When you see your mother-in-law back over a cliff in your new Mercedes Benz.
• A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.
  He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line....
• Well, friend, you're going back where you came from.
  .. the curb in front of Flanders' house. -- Homer laments the fate of the couch, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Phoebe: Hi. All: Hey. Joey: [to Phoebe] Look at you.
  Since when do you roller blade? Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow....