Related:

• A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.
• A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult. -- Solomon Sho
• May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.
• May the bird of paradise nose up your fly.
• A bird in the bush can't relieve itself in your hand.
• A bird in the hand will probably shit on your wrist.
• If brains were C-4, you couldn't blow your nose!
• You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose.
  Since this is definitely a no-no, you: (a) Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up to the 4th joint....