Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource. If
you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut
down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that
tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation with
long, poisonous tentacles and revenge in its heart, and it will sit
there in the forest, cackling and making elaborate plans for when you
come back.
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago,
when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot.
Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the
cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: "Hey! Wood
heat!" The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately
beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made,
and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed,
although their insurance rates went way up.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut
down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that
tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation with
long, poisonous tentacles and revenge in its heart, and it will sit
there in the forest, cackling and making elaborate plans for when you
come back.
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago,
when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot.
Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the
cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: "Hey! Wood
heat!" The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately
beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made,
and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed,
although their insurance rates went way up.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
Related:
- Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource.
If you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place... - A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three
wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found... - Do not cut down the tree that gives you
shade... - You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that,
contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove... - You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that,
contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove... - And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks with the one word,
"unless." Whatever THAT meant, well, I just couldn't... - COONDOG MEMORY
(heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago)
Now,
this dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a... - TALL KNIGHT: When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the
mightiest tree in the forest .
with a herring. -- Monty Python and the Holy...
From the same category:
- The older I get,
the better I used to be... - A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king,
and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm. -... - Delay is preferable to error.
--
Thomas... - At once it struck me what quality went to form a man of achievement,
especially in literature, and which Shakespeare possessed... - Pseudonym ---
a nym that is not your real nym...
