Related:

• LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...
• LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can with some difficulty be made, and which is used also for bread.
  The French are said to eat more bread _per capita_ of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable....
• IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete
  o is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts -- guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts....