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• Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter.
  Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't. -- Robert Orbe...
• Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.
  -- Collis P. Huntingdon, railroad tycoo...
• Alex came home from a business trip to Chicago and found no one home but his daughter Rose, who was crying bitterly.
  "What's the matter, darling?" asked Alex. "Mommy almost died last night," sobbed Rose....
• As a kid, I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, "All you can drink for a dime.
  So some kid would come up, plunk down the dime, drink a glass, and then say, "Refill it....
• I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more. I knew that he disliked me to cry.
  This time he said, watching me, "On some occasions it is better to weep....
• You should never challenge "worse." Don't ever say, "Things couldn't get worse.
  Worse is rough ... I was down to my last two hundred dollars....
• I once went for a job at one of the airlines. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a stewardess, and I told her--it would be a great chance to meet men.
  I was honest about it! She looked at me and said, "But you can meet men anywhere....