Related:

• DUCK-BILL, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMPIETY, n. Your irreverence toward my deity. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...