Related:

• BACK, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a _liaison_ between a bald head and a bank account.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMPIETY, n. Your irreverence toward my deity. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ENVELOPE, n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill
  he husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter....
• DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary