Related:

• The three sexual positions during preganancy. During the first four month
  Missionary style During the second four months: Doggie style And during the last month...
• Ok, how long will it take? For each manager involved in initial meetings add one month.
  For each manager who says data flow analysis add another month....
• How many computer journalists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus....
• I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew five thousand dollars at a reincarnation seminar.
  I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once. -- Ronnie Shake...
• Assembly language: Language of choice for Scrabble players.
  allows the smallest and fastest routines to be written in five months instead of one....
• The sixth shiek's sixth sheep's sick. [just say that five times...]
• The most trifling actions that affect a man's credit are to be regarded.
  The sound of your hammer at five in the morning, or at nine at night, heard by a creditor, makes him easy six months longe...
• You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first and last month in advance.