Related:

• You know you should be swimming when . . . You look at a statue of Justice and get disappointed that the scales aren't what and where you wanted them to be.
• Two women were talking about that recent birth of quintuplets.
  One woman says, "Did you know that happens only once in four million times?...
• QOTD: "Overweight is when you step on your dog's tail and it dies.
• You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step?
  I'm like that all the time. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Oh, yes, you know why fish are always weighing themselves?
  Because they carry their scales with them....
• You know you are in trouble when you've got insomnia so bad you can't fall asleep even when it's time to get up.
• You know you should be swimming when . . . Everybody's talking about "fin de siecle" and you keep looking for the fin.
• You know you should be swimming when . . . It always takes you a second when someone says that they hear a siren.
• Lisa: Mr. Jefferson, my name is Lisa Simpson, and I have a problem.
  Jefferson: I know your problem. The Lincoln Memorial was too crowded....