Related:

• You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces have locked together.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your alarm clock-radio wakes you with the words "One minute to impact.
  -- Ambidextrous Rex (Of course, you won't have to worry about getting up to go to work.)...
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your wife says, "Good morning, Bill," and your name is George.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you wake up face down on the pavement.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you forget your new password.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.