Related:

• Being a nice guy does not imply that you always finish last.
  Sometimes, it will happen that you don't even get the chance to start....
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....
• Show me a vampire with a tan and I'll show you a painter!
• Last Words of Advice: If you pay your taxes and don't get into debt and go to bed early and never answer the telephone, no harm can befall you.
  -- Professor Charles P. Issawi...
• Nice guys get sick.
• Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.